Best Buy, Geek Squad and the Cleavage of the Irish Lass

When I went to an on campus university for the first time, as opposed to a community college or online courses, my adoptive folks were stoked. So stoked, in fact, that they purchased a laptop to help me get started in the world of academia. This laptop was a student edition that Dell put out, and I happened to get the last one with the candy apple red cover (score!). This pretty little device was purchased about a month before the term started. I was quite busy during my last days of freedom and didn't even open the box for a couple of weeks. When I finally did get around to starting up my new laptop, I noted it had a major problem: it would not charge while it was on. The suckers had to be completely powered off with the laptop closed in order for the battery to charge.

Of course, I immediately went to Best Buy. Because I had purchased an extended warranty plan, I didn't see this as being an issue at all. Imagine my dismay when I was told that because it had been over 14 days, I wasn't able to return the computer. I could hand it over to them for repairs and I would get it back . . . . in three weeks. I went home instead, without turning my computer over to the Geek Squad.

I have no charm and couldn't argue myself out of a corner to save myself. I'm not good at being the sneaky, lying type either. Ever want to glean information from someone in order to surprise them with a party or gift? I'm the WRONG person for the job. My point being that I'm have no charm or manipulation skills . . . this doesn't get me very far in this world. 

I eventually returned to Best Buy with a small army: my adoptive father and brother. Anyone that knows these two men knows that they always manage to get what they want out of others. Whether it be charm, manipulation or the power of persuasion, these are the guys you want backing you up when you need something done. I watched in awe as Jeffe and brother verbally attacked the group of men, standing united behind the counter. Jeffe told them I use my laptop for school and work. The Geek Squad's response? "There are computers on campus." I'm not a mean person, but I felt like punching this guy in the mouth. True story. Really? While the Geek Squad still wouldn't return my laptop, Jeffe managed to talk them into giving me a loaner, something Best Buy simply doesn't do.

After two weeks, the loaner was exchanged for my Dell laptop. The problem was not resolved. It had the exact same issue. What on earth was the Geek Squad up to for two weeks?

I even tried customer support. I found a representative half way across the world much more interested in my problem and far more accommodating than the men right here in the good old U S of A. While my issue was still not resolved, I appreciated that someone made an honest effort to fix my problem. 

Rather than return the computer right away, my adoptive mother decided to step in. She happens to be one of the higher ups of the institution I attend. Currently, this institution contracts Dell as its major computer supplier. My adoptive mother talks to her Dell representative and tells him all about my brand new laptop that has given me nothing but grief. My mother then went on to say that she may need to reconsider signing a new contract with Dell. Dells response? A tech was sent to my house right away. Within an hour, the problem was resolved. 

The laptop was working fine for a while. I managed to spill wine on it. While it was still working just fine, the screen was dyed red. I took it in again and expected a battle. It was summer and I was wearing one of my slinky dresses that showed off my figure (cleavage included). I was quite literally amazed at how responsive these guys were to my needs this time around. I walked to my car in a stupor. Really? They cared about the customer? Then I realized what I was wearing and realized they were hypnotized by my awesome boobage.

* DISCLAIMER: This is not my cleavage. 1) I wouldn't show it to the world. 2) The world couldn't handle it. 

Over the span of the following year, I noticed several other things wrong with the laptop: its persistent slowness despite my efforts to resolve it with software, buttons breaking, the AC adapter loosening once again (it had happened three times already), connectivity issues, a charging problem and a horrid cracking sound the laptop would make every time I opened and shut it. I hate to admit it, but I was far too dependent on the laptop to send it in for repairs for another two weeks.I had to have it for school and I had to have it for work as well. Granted, I do have a desk top that can get the job done. It's also a Dell. It's ancient and slow . . . but it is allowed to be this way because it is ancient. I've had it in my life for going on 8 years now. 

When the laptop started freezing on me, I had finally had enough. I notified my employer that I'd have to work from home on my slower computer and took the thing in. This time I was prepared for their antics. I realized my secret weapon and I intended to use it. I have a lovely outfit. It's a pin skirt with a polka dot top. It's very reminiscent of the 1920s, fits me like a glove and shows off my cleavage (now known as my secret weapon). While I won't post a picture of my assets or my awesome outfit, I'll give you some other eye candy. She's quite lovely, I think: 

When I grow up, I want to look just like her :-)

The Geek Squad guy behind the counter couldn't take his eyes off of me . . . I knew I'd see victory soon. I innocently leaned over the counter, pouring my cleavage onto it and asked him if there was anything he could do for my worn out laptop. He told me it was time for a new one. He'd send it in. Best Buy has somewhat of a 'three strikes' law when it comes to their laptops. If it comes in for the same issue three times, it's considered a lemon and will be replaced. While I had definitely graced these floors many times, this was not my third time coming in for the same issue. 

I left as sweetly as I came, being sure to sway my hips just a tad bit more on my way out smiling as I did so. The male staff smiled and gawked in return. I clenched my jaw the second I arrived in the parking lot. I wanted to take off my super uncomfortable by extremely sexy high heel and chuck it at their glass door entryway. I managed to maintain my cool. I thought, "Fine. Go ahead and objectify me. I'm still winning and you're doing my bidding . . . . fools." 

Not a week had gone by that I received an e-mail from Best Buy notifying me that I was to call their corporate office: it was determined that my laptop was a lemon and I would get a brand new one. I again made the drive to Best Buy, armed with my secret weapon once again. This outfit wasn't quite so racy, but caused them to gawk just the same (fools). 

I type to you now on my brand new laptop. It's not a Dell. I think Dell has lost my business forever. As for Best Buy and the Geek Squad, they should seriously reconsider their current policies when it comes to their 'lemon' laptops. For now I know that all I have to do is flaunt my gals. I've never been one to use my looks to my advantage - but I now know that I am capable of doing so and will fall back on that as long as I can. I figure beauty is a fleeting thing and I should be able to use it to my advantage now - particularly when it comes to the shenanigans of the Geek Squad. 

More of the Healing Process: The Battle with the Demon Spiders

" I believe that in the end the truth will conquer." ~John Wycliffe

I had the second bath in the spiritual healing process.



Before the bath that night, I thought I’d spend some time in meditation and relaxing before I left myself vulnerable to the spiritual world once again. I saw my mother’s head floating in the darkness during my meditation. Her hair split down the middle and formed two horns. Her mouth elongated into a sinister smirk and she grew fangs. You know how dogs twitch and snarl when they are dreaming of chasing something or fending off a predator? I was physically doing this with my mouth. I felt myself clenching my teeth, my lip curled and twitching – warning her with my physiological reactions that this was my space, not hers and she was to go away. I eventually fell asleep and woke up to my alarm.

I drew the bath as usual and immersed myself in the water. Again, I saw her floating head in demonized form and again my lip started snarling. She was then wearing a black mask, cape and hat. She was trying to rape me. The vividness of the experience scared me. I opened my eyes for a moment so it would stop. I then relaxed and closed my eyes again.

The first thing to greet me is her floating demonized head. I then see hundreds of them and notice they have small spider bodies – the body of a black widow. I’m now in the forest of my first vision. I’m running towards the river and am being chased by an army of millions of demonized black widow spiders. I stop at the bank of the river when I see fish jumping out of the water. The fish are piranha like with her demon head and are biting at me. They are swimming upstream, against the flow of water.

I tell the fish that they are only fighting it because they are afraid of what waits for them further down the river. They are not welcome here and they must leave. The fish swallow a few of the demon spiders and allow the water to carry them downstream. The spiders are surrounding me, getting ready to attack me. A very large Aztecan man pulls me up into his arms. He is so large that I feel like a child when he carries me. I see one of the spiders jump onto his back. I hiss at her, trying to scare her again and again I feel my lip twitching and snarling. She bites him and he falls to the ground on top of me and we both sink into the earth. I feel quite safe with him, although I don’t know what’s happening.

I’m now watching the same Aztecan man. He is on a high hill surrounded by grasslands and is worshipping the sunrise. I see a white wolf looking at me and my spirit enters her. On a side note here, I’d like to mention that having a wolf as a spirit guide and animal is an honor. She is vicious and protective. To see a white wolf REALLY means business. The white wolf symbolizes victory and conquering.

Once again, I feel myself in river water. The Aztecan people are dunking me in, trying to remove one of the two smudges I have on the left side of my forehead. It doesn’t seem to be working. A very tall Native American woman walks up; she is dressed in a wolf skin which she wears as a cape, so that the wolf’s head is on top of hers like a hood. The white wolf is with her.

The Native woman lays me down on the bank of the river. She reaches for the smudge on my forehead and begins to squeeze. From this smudge emerge thousands of the demon spiders which seem to continue for a long time. Followed by the spiders are Lenora, her two daughters and a lot of pus.

The process seems to have emptied me, as if my entire body was filled with an infection of demon spiders. The Native woman breathes her breath into the hole in my forehead and alternately fills it with water from the river until my body has consistency once again. She plugs the hole in my forehead with mud earth from the river bank. My spirit again goes into the white wolf, which walks side by side with the Native woman back into the forest, away from the river.

I’ve discussed these visions I've had with a friend. We are both wondering what the indigenous may represent to me: a past life? An instinctual way to life that I’m constantly fighting? To be honest, if I had my way I’d do nothing but play in the woods all day. My friend thinks that this may be related to finding my tribe or my niche in life.

Namaste.

Moving Forward

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go. ~ Hermann Hesse

I had really hoped to turn in early tonight, but I’ve learned to listen to myself and the thoughts must come out!

Firstly, I have an important and exciting announcement. For once I’ve let someone else in: I’ve come clean to my mother about all of the things I’ve been internalizing and holding back – including the anger harbored towards her for some time, my failed suicide attempt and thoughts on my future in general. We connected on a deeper level. Our relationship has been a bit of a challenge at times, as she adopted me a little of a year ago when I was 25 and I think mother and daughter are still working on getting to know one another; not to mention she has a full grown daughter who’s been dealing with some tough issues over the last several years. We are both learning to compromise, communicate and understand one another. Tonight we accomplished all three. Woot!

In other news, I had intended to save it, but I just can’t help myself. My psychic has given me oil to put in a bathtub. I did my first bath last Saturday around midnight. Why midnight? This symbolically represents the end and beginning of something, rebirth, and is also when the natural forces are the strongest – think of the growing and waning of the moon.

I was instructed to firstly not talk about the process until it’s complete, but I think this is too exciting to keep to myself for the next three weeks. 9 drops of the solution are put into the bathtub and the water is then mixed counterclockwise with the left hand 9 times. There are many symbolic aspects of these instructions. I was told I must stay immerse in the water for fifteen minutes, then stand up, say to the Universe that I realize the negativity that has bound me and I send it back to my afflicter.

This is exactly what I did, and I now share with you the images I saw while meditating in the water. For me, it has all been symbolic of me letting go, breaking away and becoming a new person. Here’s what I saw:

First I saw myself in a womb. I wasn’t a fetus; I was full grown, as I am now. I think this is symbolic of being enveloped by the Earth Mother.

The next image I saw was me as an empty shell above the earth . . similar to the skin left behind by a bug. Everything around me was desolate: the tree, the earth, the sky was ominous in appearance. I crawled up through the rich soil lying beneath the empty shell and touched her; she shattered into a million pieces. Perhaps this is what I was: an empty shell ready to break at any moment.

I then saw Aaron standing above me. He was trying to choke me. I told him he’d never touch me again. Seeing him is symbolic of him choking my spirit because I allowed him to have too much of a hold on me.

Lastly, I saw many versions of myself, all in the form of Mayans. They were dancing around a fire. Near the fire was Aaron, Lenora, Frank, Tamara and Joy. They glared at the many versions of me with anger in their eyes and the versions of myself continued to dance around them.

I was then submerged in water, filthy and covered in muck. The other Mayan versions  of myself started to gently scrub me until all of the soot had worn away and drifted away downstream.

I stood up in the tub and said I released myself from all of the negativity and anger and sent it back to Aaron. I told him that he and his family would no longer have any hold whatsoever on me. I released myself from his touch, his stares and his tongue that both lied and touched me and sent it back to him.

I then lay in the tub for a while until the water began to get too cold for my liking. In my mind, I heard a plane go by and felt a moment of familiar nostalgia . . . looking up as a little girl on the front lawn of my house surrounded by sunshine – before anything sad had ever come into my life. 

The Three Veils

I am you; you are me. You are the waves; I am the ocean. Know this and be free – be divine. ~Sri Sathya Sai Baba

I had really hoped to write about this amazing experience while it was still fresh in my mind – but unfortunately caught what seem to be the seven plagues of Egypt breeding in the back of my throat. The good news is that it looks as though I’m on the mend, I just have to remember to tone things down a notch or two as this is usually my undoing.

I was out with my friend, Ethan, on Monday (when this blasted sickness started) doing nothing in particular. On a whim, we decided to go see a psychic. I’ve always wanted to try it once in life – but these things are never as memorable unless you’ve got someone to share the experience with.

Many people view this kind of thing as hokey. I’ve never viewed it in this light. I think we all have the potential of seeing deeper than what is right in front of us. This exists in many cultures and religions; they are known as prophets, shamans, seers and psychics. I have had my own experiences with the spiritual realm – generally a message regarding something very emotionally connected to me. I’m a believer and not ashamed to admit it, nor do I feel the need to justify my beliefs or antics to anyone.

I let Ethan go first while I waited outside. I think about an hour went by before it was my turn. Ethan did a card reading. I asked for a psychic reading. I admit that I was a bit skeptical up until then. While I believe that some of us have a very distinct intuitiveness that others don’t possess, I also know that there are phonies in this world that seek to take advantage of others.

She took one look at me and asked me what happened when I was 15. At first I couldn’t look her in the eyes. The time in my life when I was 15 will possibly go down in history as the most miserable year in my life . . . there was a lot of trauma. I was sexually assaulted and had to live under the same roof as the bastard for several months without saying a word, I was abused, manipulated and told how unwanted I was. What she was referring to, however, was the assault. I’ve carried around anger and resentment for years and am only now beginning to learn to let go. The psychic (her name is Janey) told me that this is one of three veils that I have to let go before I can feel whole again. She sees my left side (the feminine side) as almost dead due to the abuse and trauma I’ve experienced over the years.

Janey asked what happened to the money I was supposed to inherit. I explained that my step grandfather had remarried after my grandmother’s death. Before meeting his new wife, he had set SSI income that he was receiving from my father’s death aside for me. When he married his new wife, she squandered everything. The money factor ended up being a curse in my eyes because I wasn’t wanted unless that was part of the package.

Among some other things, Janey knew that I’m a writer, animal lover and outdoor enthusiast. I don’t think anyone would know that without talking to me for an extended period of time or being a friend. Janey also knew that I have a deeper intuition than most as well: I see things in my dreams. Of course, this is a trait I haven’t worked on developing and it’s something that only comes about when someone or something I really care about is going to be affected.

I made another appointment to see Janey again. She will be working with me towards spiritual healing and I have a hunch I’ll get more from this experience than I’ve ever received from therapy. I feel as though I’ve made huge leaps in progress because for once I’m focusing on my own well being instead of trying to ease the world around me.

 I’ll make updates as they come. I’ve been set back a little already due to an unforeseen illness (thank you, Ethan). 

Of Masks and Men

Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than it was before. ~ James Buckham

Throughout most of my life, I’ve run from adversity and conflict of any sort. I’d hide my true self from others, allowing them to create an image of what I should be in their own mind. I was often shunned for my beliefs and way of thinking that tended to be different. I’ve always been different. Consequently, I always saw myself as the problem. I’m not sure if pretending to be something I wasn’t was some sort of evolutionary survival method, or that I was made to feel ashamed for my nonconformist attitude. Either way, I wore a mask that was not my own for many years. In fact, I wore several.

I’m not sure when exactly I decided I needed to set my foot down, but at some point I did. I feel like the entire world would oppress me if I’d let it . . . but I’m not going to. My family has come to terms with my oddities of smudging and love of the Earth Mother. At first, I was told that it was only a psychological thing. My philosophy is ‘whatever works’. Don’t rain on my parade!

Again I address the topic of men. As mentioned in my previous blog, I’ve had a knack for attracting the wrong type. It’s not that they were evil, or bad in all aspects; I think I could find a trait to love in just about anybody. My free spirit is usually what attracts people to me. Perhaps they thought I was what they wanted and that turned out to not be the case. Regardless, I feel as if they made every attempt to snuff the life out of me.

With that in mind, I’ll be spending some time thinking about what I want in a significant other and hope that by doing so the right person will come along. If not, so be it. I’ve learned that we need to make our own happiness in this world.

Here’s my thoughts (requirements) thus far:

1 Must be a dog lover. I have two dogs of my own. Love me, love my dogs.

2 Be honest to me about who you are. I don’t like liars and I despise those that lie about their interests to catch my attention

3 Love outdoors. I have a deep connection to nature. This is where I find comfort, solace and can rejuvenate myself when I’m feeling worn down.

4 Mobility; be active. Be spontaneous because this is one of the greatest gifts in life.

5 Having traveled is a plus. I feel it is important to see other parts of the world, immerse in a different culture, and have meaningful experiences.

6 Generosity – not just towards me and not necessarily with tangible things (unless chocolate cake is involved). Share your thoughts and dreams with me.

7 Confidence, but not self absorbed – I think it’s important to be proud of what you do and your contribution to the world. However, thinking you’re better than everyone else is a turn off.

8 Motivation – have the desire to continue to grow. Stagnant water is bad for to drink, so is a stagnant lifestyle.

9 Patience – I want someone who can be patient with me and others in his life. 

10 The ability to laugh at yourself . . .  because I laugh at myself on a daily basis and it’s much more amusing when I have a partner in crime.

11 Dance outings and karaoke – Of course, I’m not set in stone. I like to have fun and don’t want a couch potato who not only refuses to go kayaking with me, but also refuses dancing and karaoke.

12 Smarts – impress me with your knowledge and challenge me to a game of chess!

13 I think looks fall into here somewhere. I’m still trying to decide exactly what physical aspects I like in the opposite sex. All I can say for now is that I know what I like when I see it.

14 Loving - love me for who I am and not what you'd like me to be. I have had so many cross my path that are attracted to my free spirit and fun loving nature only to try to change me and break me in the process. I will not stand for this. 

15 Bonus points if you're Irish!

16 - Don't treat me as an afterthought. I am worth more than that.
 

Do The Gods Laugh At Us?

Can we really choose who we fall in love with?

This is a question I'm asking myself now.

I’ve recently noticed a phenomenon among some of my friends. These gals are capable of loveless, emotionless, no strings attached sex. This concept is foreign to me. I’d like to think I don’t understand simply because I’m further evolved and therefore more separated from my animal ancestry as the loveless sex crowd. However, this is likely not the case and I’m just behind in the times – or an anomaly living among an ever changing society in which women are breaking free from the sexual constrains of the past.

Since beginning my journey in biology, anatomy, physiology and the like, I’ve learned a rather surprising fact (surprising to me at least). Hormones are involved in sex. Who knew?

Meet oxytocin , a hormone produced in both the male and female orgasm. It is often referred to as the “cuddle chemical” not only for its role between sexual partners, but also for the function it serves to bond mothers with their newborn babies.

Then there’s serotonin, which acts as an anti-depressant. Upon orgasm, the levels of serotonin receive a temporary boost. Phenylethylamine triggers the release of dopamine in the pleasure centers of the brain – the nucleus accumbens which is a collection of nerves found in the limbic system. A side note for ladies: dopamine is also found in chocolate.

Lastly, there’s adrenaline. We’ve all experienced the adrenaline rush – which easily explains the addiction to physical activity of any sort – from running, biking , skydiving to (you get the picture).  

The heart-flutters we feel for another could simply be an adrenaline rush wrapped in oxytocin.

In short, sex offers an emotional high. In fact, this release of chemical reactions begins before the act of sex occurs.

Ever seen someone that you felt you had to have right then and there? A basic animalistic instinct; perhaps we’re not that far evolved after all.

I bring this up only because sex is so often attached to love. Looking deeper, I’m now beginning to wonder if love is a real emotion or simply a series of chemical releases that takes place.

For as long as the written language has existed, writers, musicians and the like have paid homage to the concept of love. Love is transcendental and the pinnacle of human emotion. Love can lift hearts, bewitch minds, and break the boundaries of class and race.

It’s a complex emotion with extreme consequences. On one side, there is great joy; on the other, much pain. We entrust another with a very deep and guarded piece of ourselves. Perhaps this is both the greatest sacrifice and the greatest vulnerability. Some us feel the need to lose ourselves in another. Personally, I’d like to keep myself in tact; but I think the concept sounds nice.

I’ve heard love described as two types: a bonfire and a fireplace fire. Both are equally pleasing, but very different. Bonfires are exciting, but can quickly burn out of control and a fireplace fire can be contained. If you find yourself in a bonfire type situation, one must question if it is love, infatuation or lust.

It’s also not uncommon for people to fall out of love. Really? I didn’t know we were capable of pulling ourselves up from the bottomless abyss. What happens? Do our internal chemicals finally run out and we see the other person standing before us for the first time as they really are? Do we simply make a choice to move on because something else catches our eye?

What's Been Torn Away

This is my first online entry. It was composed when I was going through a rather nasty breakup while immersed in an intense and accelerated science curriculum (July 2010). When I finally came to my senses and was done beating myself up, I turned to the one thing that always comforts me: writing. 

Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are. ~ Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha

I think I'm done keeping my silence.

Over the span of the last several weeks, I think I've experienced every emotion possible; it's been a roller coaster, to say the least. I pulled through it and came out stronger on the other side - I always do. While in the middle of crawling through my own personal dark tunnel, however, I couldn't see the light at the end no matter how hard I strained to see it or how often I changed the direction of my gaze.

During this period, I felt several times as if I had reached my breaking point. It was as if I had absolutely nowhere and no one to turn to in many aspects. Everything else had quite literally been shaken away - and through this experience I have discovered the few that are genuine in my life.

There comes a point when all that one can do is cry - whether it be minutes, hours, days or weeks. When I had finally let the pain I was feeling leave me, I was able to look at the world around me through a fresh set of eyes. This experience has awarded me with a new insight to my own surroundings. I've discovered that nature is perfect, joyous, fascinating and possibly the best healer to be found. Mother Earth has always been this way - I don't think I ever truly saw her until now.


I've learned that humanity is fallible, cruel and unforgiving . . . not that I'm going to lock myself away in some remote cave - I only feel that I will forever be detached from those around me. If I'm honest with myself, I think it's safe to say that I've been this way from childhood - I just never cared to admit it.

I've come to realize that I am as I should be in mind and spirit; those that do not like it aren't worth my time and have no place in my life. Now that I think of it, I can't imagine why someone would want to change me in the first place.

It's a petty thing - to let other's control my life because I'm so concerned by how they will perceive me and honestly I don't think they deserve that kind of power over me; I don't intend to give it to them. My intentions are merely to live my life as I see fit while embracing my unique qualities that others either envy or despise about me.

That's all for now.

Namaste