I think Portland is a wonderful place . . .to visit. I've been in Portland, OR for nearly 5 years now, and I still don't feel at home here. In fact, I don't think I'll ever claim to be from Portland, OR; the shame is too much for me to stomach. I'm home sick and I miss down to earth people . . . Portland is also severely lacking in ethnicity and I feel like I'm slowly descending into madness; the reflection from the masses of white skin is slowly burning my retinas.
This is still too vanilla for my liking.
The overall smugness of this place is getting to me. What's the point of doing good for your neighbor, a stranger, a woman in a foreign village in Africa or the environment if you're going to brag about it for the rest of your life? I think one of the worst offenses in this world is when an act is presented as kind and genuine when the underlying motives are social status and personal gain.
I'm doing this for you because I want to help you . . . and I also want a press release to inform the nation of my generosity.
Portland has been referred to as one of the most environmentally friendly ('green') cities in the world. There are many forms of public transit. Consequently, many don't own a car. In fact, this is encouraged. Parking anywhere in the SW side is nearly impossible not to mention expensive. Park on campus at Portland State University because you're a student? Forget about it! That will run you nearly $100 a week. I think Portland's lesser known motto is 'Welcome to Portland! You can't park here . . . '
Seriously; don't do it. Your vehicle will be worked over with a sledgehammer, flipped over by an angry mob, set on fire and then 'decorated' with environmentalist slogans. You're welcome.
Now, if you happen to live in an 'upper class' neighborhood, public transit nearly refuses to operate in the area. I suppose it's their way of keeping the unsavory individuals out. You're only option is to drive, and you should sure as heck hope that you don't have to do anything on the SW side. I suppose that doesn't matter, because everyone has more money than they know what to do with in these wretched hoity-toity neighborhoods.
Portland claims to give its residents a better way of living . . . there's no sales tax! You know what this means? Residents are taxed in ways they couldn't even begin to comprehend. Residents would never notice this because they've either lived in this city their whole lives and know nothing else, or are just too stoned to care. Personally, I hate feeling like I've been fisted with a sandpaper glove every time I receive my paycheck. For someone like the hipster, this doesn't matter. Nothing matters to the hipster.
The hipster was formally thought to be a mythical creature that has origins in Portland, OR. It turns out the legend of the hipster was true, and they're attracted to and mimic overall douchbaggery. The 'green' lifestyle is a popular thing in this area, and hipsters make every attempt to try to be more 'green' than the next person.
The 'green' environment in Portland is an ignis fatuus to cover up the major underground pot plantations. Those that claim to be green, particularly the ignorant hipster prick, wail about the environment and the nation's pursuit of oil. As they're expressing their frustration with how horrible we are to our environment, the ignorant hipster prick is working through his 3rd pack of cigarettes for the day. The ignorant hipster prick is someone who will yell at you for eating meat or driving a car, because these things are not green and harmful to the environment, as they take the last drag of their cigarette and pile onto a bus that transports them to their home nearly 30 miles away.
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Actually, it's the Pacific NW . . . you're doing it wrong.
Not everyone falls into the hipster group. There are many that saddle the fence between sane people and the Highest Order of Douchbaggery. Some of Portland's residents are extremely dedicated environmentalists. These folks sell things on craft sites that are made with their bare hands. Supplies from these products, yarn for example, are grown organically in the highest mountains of Peru and purchased for fair trade prices. This yarn is then shipped to Argentina, where it is processed for the crafter and from there, finally shipped to the crafter. The crafter receives the yarn obtained through pure goodness and fair practice, makes it into something, and then ship it yet again to buyers of the product. Now how environmentally friendly is that, a**hole?!
They really mean it. In fact, they'll gladly put you out of your misery so they can enjoy the planet . . . . without you.
Then there's the recent incident at one of the city parks. This particular park is connected to many trails. When one is hiking on one of these trail circuits, there are frequent signs posted throughout warning of a fine for dogs off leash and to stay on the trails to 'protect the habitat.' I resent these signs and let my dogs roam freely. Why? Because it was less than a month ago that over 50 trees where cut down so that people could enjoy the view of the mountain from the top of this park. Obviously there isn't much real concern for the natural habitat. I'm also sick and tired of hearing yuppies in this area talk about 'the view'. You know what? I could care less about your stinking view. In fact, when I get a home of my own, I'll buy it in the worst neighborhood that ever existed and create my own view with a super awesome garden . . . take that yuppies with your city view.
My dream garden, where I'll be planting trees instead of cutting them down. By definition, this makes me better than you.
Now let's consider the vegan community. I don't have anything against vegans unless they live in Portland because Portland turns vegans into ultramegatron a-holes. When I do something, I do it based off my own convictions, not because it's the trendy thing to do. Veganism, vegetarianism, and environmentally friendly are very trendy lifestyles here. I cringed when I first shopped at a second hand store in Portland. I didn't understand why the prices were so high. As it turns out, it's trendy in Portland. I shop at second hand stores because I'm one of the most resourceful folks you'll ever meet. I do it for survival, not because it's the 'in' thing. I also resent that when something is purchased from a second hand store in Portland, it is now referred to as 'vintage'. Really?
I love this woman: "It's not vintage, stupid. It's second hand."
I still shop at second hand stores, but I am no longer am a vegan or vegetarian. Granted, this doesn't mean that I eat meat like it's the last resource on earth. I rarely touch it, but I do not care to be associated with this crowd any longer. If I am a guest in someone's house and meat is prepared for me, I eat it without saying a word because they have been kind enough to offer me food and it would be a horrendous waste and unneeded offense to not eat what has graciously been given to me. I have heard some pretty nasty things come out of the lips in the vegan community regarding this practice. Also, feather earrings and anything that even closely resemble leather is a big no-no. You know what? You stick to your values and don't mind my own. I refused to be criticized for behavior in which there is no fault.
There's a saying here that the residents are quite proud of, "Keep Portland Weird." I think 'Portland is an insane asylum' is closer to the truth. The Occupy movement landed in this city in full force and chaos ensued. I did make my way down to one of their events to see what the Occupiers were all about; I was on the side protesting their existence. That experience is another story. What I took away from this is that the majority of those involved with Occupy had no idea why they were there. When questioned, some would spout of very vague answers and tell me that 'We're doing this for you.' What are you doing? Destroying a city park and wreaking havoc downtown? The response was that the entire thing has been misrepresented in the media and that media is a horrible entity that can't be trusted . . . . I saw the videos posted by Occupy members and bystanders and made my opinion based on the 'incriminating' videos of law enforcement.
Occupy has died down lately, I'm not sure if this is because of the cold and rain, or because at long last the movement has realized that camping in a park, taking over vacant homes, and marching through downtown during business hours isn't doing anything because there is no real action on their part.While those involved in this group complained about how evil and corrupt corporations are, they slept in tents from REI and kept like-minded folks informed of the Occupy status from their iphones and mac computers. That's the definition of a hypocrite if I ever saw one.
Tell me again why you're protesting capitalism? Corporations and material goods?
I'm going to step off of my soap box for now. In the meantime, I'm working towards an escape back to California where there are people that are sane.
