Best Buy, Geek Squad and the Cleavage of the Irish Lass

When I went to an on campus university for the first time, as opposed to a community college or online courses, my adoptive folks were stoked. So stoked, in fact, that they purchased a laptop to help me get started in the world of academia. This laptop was a student edition that Dell put out, and I happened to get the last one with the candy apple red cover (score!). This pretty little device was purchased about a month before the term started. I was quite busy during my last days of freedom and didn't even open the box for a couple of weeks. When I finally did get around to starting up my new laptop, I noted it had a major problem: it would not charge while it was on. The suckers had to be completely powered off with the laptop closed in order for the battery to charge.

Of course, I immediately went to Best Buy. Because I had purchased an extended warranty plan, I didn't see this as being an issue at all. Imagine my dismay when I was told that because it had been over 14 days, I wasn't able to return the computer. I could hand it over to them for repairs and I would get it back . . . . in three weeks. I went home instead, without turning my computer over to the Geek Squad.

I have no charm and couldn't argue myself out of a corner to save myself. I'm not good at being the sneaky, lying type either. Ever want to glean information from someone in order to surprise them with a party or gift? I'm the WRONG person for the job. My point being that I'm have no charm or manipulation skills . . . this doesn't get me very far in this world. 

I eventually returned to Best Buy with a small army: my adoptive father and brother. Anyone that knows these two men knows that they always manage to get what they want out of others. Whether it be charm, manipulation or the power of persuasion, these are the guys you want backing you up when you need something done. I watched in awe as Jeffe and brother verbally attacked the group of men, standing united behind the counter. Jeffe told them I use my laptop for school and work. The Geek Squad's response? "There are computers on campus." I'm not a mean person, but I felt like punching this guy in the mouth. True story. Really? While the Geek Squad still wouldn't return my laptop, Jeffe managed to talk them into giving me a loaner, something Best Buy simply doesn't do.

After two weeks, the loaner was exchanged for my Dell laptop. The problem was not resolved. It had the exact same issue. What on earth was the Geek Squad up to for two weeks?

I even tried customer support. I found a representative half way across the world much more interested in my problem and far more accommodating than the men right here in the good old U S of A. While my issue was still not resolved, I appreciated that someone made an honest effort to fix my problem. 

Rather than return the computer right away, my adoptive mother decided to step in. She happens to be one of the higher ups of the institution I attend. Currently, this institution contracts Dell as its major computer supplier. My adoptive mother talks to her Dell representative and tells him all about my brand new laptop that has given me nothing but grief. My mother then went on to say that she may need to reconsider signing a new contract with Dell. Dells response? A tech was sent to my house right away. Within an hour, the problem was resolved. 

The laptop was working fine for a while. I managed to spill wine on it. While it was still working just fine, the screen was dyed red. I took it in again and expected a battle. It was summer and I was wearing one of my slinky dresses that showed off my figure (cleavage included). I was quite literally amazed at how responsive these guys were to my needs this time around. I walked to my car in a stupor. Really? They cared about the customer? Then I realized what I was wearing and realized they were hypnotized by my awesome boobage.

* DISCLAIMER: This is not my cleavage. 1) I wouldn't show it to the world. 2) The world couldn't handle it. 

Over the span of the following year, I noticed several other things wrong with the laptop: its persistent slowness despite my efforts to resolve it with software, buttons breaking, the AC adapter loosening once again (it had happened three times already), connectivity issues, a charging problem and a horrid cracking sound the laptop would make every time I opened and shut it. I hate to admit it, but I was far too dependent on the laptop to send it in for repairs for another two weeks.I had to have it for school and I had to have it for work as well. Granted, I do have a desk top that can get the job done. It's also a Dell. It's ancient and slow . . . but it is allowed to be this way because it is ancient. I've had it in my life for going on 8 years now. 

When the laptop started freezing on me, I had finally had enough. I notified my employer that I'd have to work from home on my slower computer and took the thing in. This time I was prepared for their antics. I realized my secret weapon and I intended to use it. I have a lovely outfit. It's a pin skirt with a polka dot top. It's very reminiscent of the 1920s, fits me like a glove and shows off my cleavage (now known as my secret weapon). While I won't post a picture of my assets or my awesome outfit, I'll give you some other eye candy. She's quite lovely, I think: 

When I grow up, I want to look just like her :-)

The Geek Squad guy behind the counter couldn't take his eyes off of me . . . I knew I'd see victory soon. I innocently leaned over the counter, pouring my cleavage onto it and asked him if there was anything he could do for my worn out laptop. He told me it was time for a new one. He'd send it in. Best Buy has somewhat of a 'three strikes' law when it comes to their laptops. If it comes in for the same issue three times, it's considered a lemon and will be replaced. While I had definitely graced these floors many times, this was not my third time coming in for the same issue. 

I left as sweetly as I came, being sure to sway my hips just a tad bit more on my way out smiling as I did so. The male staff smiled and gawked in return. I clenched my jaw the second I arrived in the parking lot. I wanted to take off my super uncomfortable by extremely sexy high heel and chuck it at their glass door entryway. I managed to maintain my cool. I thought, "Fine. Go ahead and objectify me. I'm still winning and you're doing my bidding . . . . fools." 

Not a week had gone by that I received an e-mail from Best Buy notifying me that I was to call their corporate office: it was determined that my laptop was a lemon and I would get a brand new one. I again made the drive to Best Buy, armed with my secret weapon once again. This outfit wasn't quite so racy, but caused them to gawk just the same (fools). 

I type to you now on my brand new laptop. It's not a Dell. I think Dell has lost my business forever. As for Best Buy and the Geek Squad, they should seriously reconsider their current policies when it comes to their 'lemon' laptops. For now I know that all I have to do is flaunt my gals. I've never been one to use my looks to my advantage - but I now know that I am capable of doing so and will fall back on that as long as I can. I figure beauty is a fleeting thing and I should be able to use it to my advantage now - particularly when it comes to the shenanigans of the Geek Squad.